he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
