My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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