so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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