I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize