He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
