Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
