You can't motorboat a personality
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Alive.
So much puke
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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