i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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