Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
