I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize