suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
my poor anus
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
