I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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