she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
