I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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