I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
