ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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