Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
