I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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