I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
