idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just had sex on a roof
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
