i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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