i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
