So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
