Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
