i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
