I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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