Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
