and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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