I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
