i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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