I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
