yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
