if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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