we're blogging at a bar
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
