i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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