idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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