all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize