I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
