I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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