I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
