i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
