Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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