So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
