Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
