as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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