I love black thongs
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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