i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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