Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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