Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
