hell yes lets make some ravioli
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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