the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
