In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
