Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I did not marry a roomba.
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