If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize