She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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